legal – What is the most water-proof “white lie” to give for “losing” coins?

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I have carefully noted every single Bitcoin purchase I have ever made, with the date, amount in BTC, amount in fiat, and always using my bank account, so the authorities could simply ask the bank if they don’t believe me, and they would see that the numbers match.

I have never sold any Bitcoin.

Now comes the messy part. I have “lost” a huge part of my purchases Bitcoin. Some of these were me purchasing illegal-in-my-country medicine on .onion marketplaces, which I obviously cannot officially mention to any authority. And some was actually lost such as me transferring 3-4 BTC at once to an account on such a marketplace, and then realizing that they had exit-scammed and taken all my coins with them.

To further complicate matters, I have many times transferred my coins around to new wallet.dats, fiddled about with fork-coins (just to get back some BTC), etc.

Now that the dust has settled, I find myself with a fraction left of all those BTC I have officially purchased over the years. And now I wonder how I’m going to explain that to the authorities. If I start talking about a “boating accident”, that would be an obvious lie since my coins were not lost in that manner, all at once. They were slowly transferred out from my wallet(s) to random receive addresses, which they may or may not be able to associate with certain marketplaces (I have no idea how great or bad their OPSEC was).

What should I be telling them? I also can’t say that I’ve lost access to all my Bitcoin, because then I can’t ever use them again. Or if I mysteriously “find” the private keys again, the same problem still persists: what do I say about all those coins I genuinely no longer have, but have purchased according to my purchase table?

I really can’t think of a lie which would not be possible to bust. Of course, I would vastly prefer to not have to lie at all, but when I started this journey, I had no idea that the price would ever go up significantly, and my healthy simply required me to buy that illegal medicine for a few years.

If I just say that somebody gave me the Bitcoin as a gift, that is both implausible and would not match with my bank records, and also would “reset” my amount of fiat invested (which is significant to me) and would thus require me to pay the sky-high taxes on the full amount I get if I ever sell/use the coins.

What’s the best way out of this?



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